What do you say?

Could anyone tell? Would anyone know by what we say and do that we are a Christian? Is the evidence clear? Would the testimony by those who see and know us be enough? Could there be any doubt that we would be convicted of being a Christian by what we say or do?

Jesus said in John 13, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

After another disappointing interaction with someone recently, I wondered, once again, why. Why do they do that? Why do they seemingly go out of their way to irritate, annoy, manipulate, exasperate, needle, provoke, hassle, and aggravate? I asked one time years ago and received this answer. This person said that they did it because they liked to see me “fired up.” Like poking a smoldering fire to see the flames leap high into the air, this person thought it was fun to ‘stir me up and watch how I reacted.’ They didn’t see or care about the pain or fall out I felt by their words. It was just fun at my expense for them. They seemed to particularly enjoy ‘stirring me up’ or embarrassing me in the presence of others. They could almost always predict by their triggering words and actions how I would react. You see, as a child in my particular family of customs and culture, I learned with a look or a word to immediately ‘hop to.’ I also knew exactly ‘how high’ to jump with the commands of a somewhat sadistic dad. I was programmed from an early age to act, react, and obey without thinking an autocratic and domineering father.

Repeated childhood traumas trained self-preservation behavior patterns deep into the heart of my autonomic nervous system geared to avoid conflict and to protect myself, my mother, and my siblings from harm. Like the training to ‘stop, drop, and roll’ in response to being on fire that I learned as a child, my young brain was programmed to react to certain triggers and stimuli to prevent what I saw as imminent danger of physical and emotional harm up to and including my death or that of others at the hands of someone who should have been my chief protector. As the oldest child, I felt a need to protect my younger siblings and even my mother. My mother often seemed passive and un-protective of us, but perhaps as an adult looking back now, she understood better how to deal with someone drunk and out of control. It was a stressful and traumatic life to lead as a child. It can be hard on an adult also.

Fortunately, most can’t fathom a childhood like this, but I lived it. It is a part of the brokenness in this world brought on from the beginning with the desire of men and women to be their own authority and their own gods – often joyfully and decisively rejecting the authority of the loving Creator God, who is Sovereign of all. Sin and acts of selfishness are the results of our rejection of God. A wake of human brokenness and tragedy lasting for generations to include both physical harm and spiritual death is the outcome of mankind’s treason toward a loving God and Father of all that live.

So what is the point? Why do I share this sad and even to my eyes personally depressing tale? The reason is simple. In a life that is so rushed and hurried where we scurry to get from here to there for our businesses, pleasures, goals, and pursuits, I want us to STOP.

Please let’s just STOP for one moment and think. It won’t take long. Did you know that a sprinter responds to the crack of the starting gun for their race in less than 150 milliseconds? That’s half the time it takes to blink an eye.

In that brief millisecond moment of meeting someone – anyone, please just STOP for a moment, and think about how you can be kind and encouraging in your words and deeds.

STOP the “gotcha” stuff and “put down” talk.

STOP the “mean girl and guy” juvenile junior high behavior that demeans and demoralizes.

STOP ignoring the person who shyly says “Hi!” when passing by. It won’t kill us to smile and say hello back.

STOP picking at people just to get a rise or reaction out of them to amuse ourselves or others.

STOP contributing to the cancel culture.

STOP gossiping. They know when people are talking about them and that what is said isn’t nice.

STOP listening to divisive rhetoric that would have us tearing one another and our society down instead of building up.

STOP making others feel less than. We don’t need it. Some can’t bear it, and there is no good reason for it.

Many of us have already been told hundreds of times that we are less than worthless and not enough. We know we are full of fault, sinful, and can’t do it all right. We see our flaws and foibles better than anyone. We know we aren’t in the “in” crowd. We see that some don’t think we are pretty enough, smart enough, or “hip” enough to be in the group. We need a hand up – not a put down.

The evidence of the problem is clear all around us. Our society is crumbling and crime is rampant. Drug abuse for legal and illegal drugs is on the rise all across our nation for those seeking to medicate their pain and numb their feelings of rejection and trauma. Suicide rates are out the roof, especially for our young people. Many parents today are so wrapped up in themselves and their screens, that they can’t or won’t see the needs in their children right in front of them. Children too young to process what they are seeing and hearing are being swept into an abyss of an atheistic and hedonistic society through the internet, television, movies, and in what they experience in their home lives.

Did you know that there is a report of child abuse every 10 seconds in the United States? That’s 6 times a minute and 8,640 times in a day. In a recent continuing education training, I learned that there are over 1,100 reports of child abuse per month in our local area. Less than 25 of those cases ever come before the courts for prosecution. That’s less that 2/10ths of one percent of the reported cases of child abuse that have any chance at all of discipline or consequences to the abusers and of protection for the children. Many, many people are hurting.

Some of the broken children and adults have found hope, love, and life in Jesus Christ. We have experienced the grace and mercy of a loving, heavenly Father God, but oh, so very, very many people haven’t yet. They don’t know God, see their value, or know that they have been made in God’s own image. They don’t have any real hope. Many are just lost and can’t see any useful purpose for their lives.

With all this in mind, please just STOP. Don’t make things worse with thoughtless words and deeds. We don’t need any more negativity and narcissism.

Romans 12:16 says, “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.”

STOP for just a moment and think before you say something to someone – to anyone. Remember that God gave His one and only Son for that person right there in front of you.

I Peter 4:8 says, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

I know you are busy. I know you have things to do. We all do, but the next time you meet someone, blink your eye and STOP. Take that millisecond moment to think about the precious and dearly loved souls in the people before you in that moment.

God loves them. Will you? God knows they need someone to love and care for them. Will you? Jesus laid down His life for them. Would you?

In that millisecond moment before you say or do anything, will you STOP and consider how to build up and encourage? We don’t know what the person there before us deals with at home or at work each day. We don’t know how close someone might be to just giving up. Words are powerful. With words, God made everything both seen and unseen. Our words are powerful, too!

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Proverbs 16:24 says, “Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

Proverbs 12:25 says, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.”

Ephesians 4:29-32 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Can’t we do that? It just takes a moment to STOP. In less time than it takes to blink an eye, we can decide to speak kindly and do good to a fellow human being. That’s what God wants of His children. That’s what God commands of His people. That’s what Jesus did for us and expects of His disciples.

If we, as Christians, are no different than the people in the world, why would anyone want to come to Christ. What’s the advantage or attraction? Christians are to be ambassadors of God in a lost, wicked, and dying world. Christians are to be in the world but not to be of the world. Are we? We are called out to be holy as God is and to show God’s love to one another. Do we?

There is no doubt that we will impact in some way the lives of everyone with whom we come in contact with for good or for bad. In each moment and interaction, we choose. We choose to be kind or cruel. We choose to build up or tear down. We choose. We all choose.

The question today and going forward is – What will we choose?

I hope we will choose what is good and loving.

I think on these things … (Philippians 4:4-9)

Robin House ©️

Lessons learned at the check out line

Today I was in a grocery store, and as I was checking out, the man who was sacking my groceries said, “I didn’t like that woman that came before you.” He went on to tell me how she approached the cashier and complained about how he checked out her items and was irritated when he did not get her loyalty number down right the first time. He said that she was peeved that she had to repeat her phone number. He went on to say that she was rude to him too in the way she asked for a bag for her items. I said that maybe she was having a hard day. The sacker didn’t buying my excuse for her.

As I completed my purchase, I told him that I thought I could carry everything to my car by hand, but he said no and that he wanted to go outside anyway. I told him thanks and as we walked to my car I remarked that it was sad that some people couldn’t or wouldn’t take the time to be kind and polite and be respectful of one another. He agreed.

It doesn’t take that much more time to be kind, yet I know there have been times when I have been short with someone or expressed my frustrations and exasperations. There is no room for me to point any fingers. Today was really more of a reminder for myself as I spoke to the gentleman that helped me get my groceries to my car during this hectic season of holidays about “giving.” We went on to talk about what a pretty day it was and other small talk as he helped me load the groceries in my car and parted with a have a great day to one another.

When I think about Jesus, He came as God to become a man – initially as an infant. God got down in the dirt with sinful man to live among us, serve us, and show us the way of salvation through His love for the Father and obedience to His will. Why should I complain? Why should I expect anything really? Jesus, who never sinned and lived a perfect human life, was misunderstood, mistreated, rejected, and ultimately selected to be executed in the place of a murderer.

What a Savior! What an example. Jesus said that as His disciples we shouldn’t expect to be treated any better than He was, but don’t we … When we remember who we are and whose we are, a lot of things really won’t matter or shouldn’t. The way others treat us is more of a reflection on who they are than on who we are. When we remember this and consider what God’s own Son went through, we won’t care so much that we had to deal with a long line, repeat information a second or third time, or that we need to ask for something that seems obvious to us, but is oblivious to someone else. When we remember that we, as Christians, are dead to our selves — to our will, ways, and wants – we will have the ability to focus on others and their needs. We will notice their needs, respect their efforts on our behalf, notice when they are having a difficult day, and show the common courtesy that isn’t so common anymore.

There are a lot of people weighed down with the worries of this old world today. There are many who don’t know what to do or where to turn. Life is tough for them. With a smile, kind words, a little empathy, and genuine love for our fellow man (all of whom are equally valued by God and worthy of Jesus’ sacrifice), we can show them the light, the way, the truth, and how to spend an eternity in heaven with God.

I’m talking to myself here — I pray that I can look outward to others and their needs over my own. I hope I can lift someone’s spirits and perhaps even make their day with something positive or good. Sometimes it is just the simple things, the little things, and a smile, a thank you, or an excuse me, please that can show someone that they are valued and appreciated. I’m going to work harder on remembering all of this and my experience at the grocery store today.

Lastly, I am reminded of Philippians 2. This scripture challenges me so very often. It says, “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.” I’ll be thinking on these things… I hope I have encouraged you to think on them too.

Let’s have some P’s please!

1. Pause and pray for our nation, its citizens, and our duly elected leaders.
2. Place your confidence in Christ.
3. Pledge your loyalty to God and no other.
4. Plan to do what is right, even if no one else does.
5. Prepare promptly in place to provide and protect your family and friends.
6. Promote peace in all conversations and activities as you pursue and point out what is true and right.
7. Pick your friends carefully.
8. Pray for your enemies.
9. Prevent dissension at home and work during tumultuous times. Don’t go into crowds or around anyone demonstrating about anything as many have no self-control or sense of right and wrong in their behavior within crowds.
10. Persuade those who don’t know God to seek Him through your godly behavior and love. John 13:35
11. Produce the fruits of the spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
12. Pursue what is true, honorable, ethical, and right.
13. Prohibit yourself from negative thinking, self-talk, and talk. Think and speak positively.
14. Persist in studying the Word of God and the hope within found in a relationship with Christ.
15. Present your bodies every day as living sacrifices in the service of the one true God and only King of kings and Lord of lords.
16. Praise God at all times.

RRH 01-18-2021